why so complicated?

For the life of me I cannot understand why certain people thrive off making the simplest things complicated. Isn't life difficult enough? I waste a significant amount of my time worrying about school, money, my future etc. etc. I hate having to think about my relationships with other people. Socializing should be the easiest and most enjoyable part of the day. When certain individuals sneak around trying to manipulate other people to gather what usually turns out to be completely irrelevant information, it really pisses me off. If you have something to say to someone or if you have feelings for a person...just tell them. Honestly, what is the worst that can happen? Rejection? Life is full of it, but grow some balls and put yourself out there. Good things happen to those who try.

Gossip. Slander. I'm not stating that I'm completely innocent in this department. We have all been victims and perpetrators in the gossip circle of life, but seriously are we still fifteen? Really? I value honesty above anything else. Sometimes the most refreshing comment is when someone says what everyone else is thinking. Again, life is easier when people just put it out there.

Some of the most intelligent people I have met have zero social skills. Why? How is that even possible? The people who are the most fun are the those who can let loose. Let's just stop thinking and start living.

This weekend I finally came to life again. I love being with people who know how to live. Sometimes too the best moments, the most intimate moments, are when they are no words because what is unsaid is just as beautiful, when feelings are sincere, it just happens. Connecting with someone is more than a physical attraction, even good conversation. I am not suggesting those things aren't important because they are absolutely essential, but you also need to just relax. A light heart and a sense of humour are two of the most admirable qualities, and so simple. It has to be simple. It just has to be.

Hot Shower

Do you ever just really need a hot shower, but the water refuses to get hot enough? I hate that. You turn the hot water on full blast, and it's certainly not cold, but it's not as hot as it should be. You stand there, wondering and cursing whoever is doing laundry or dishes because the only thing you absolutely needed to go as planned was your simple, mundane, everyday, hot shower. I guess there's always tomorrow. But it doesn't change the miserable fact that today, I'm still freezing.

Under Pressure..

If there is one feeling I despise it's desperation. I have been feeling so desperate lately. I have a new life, a good one. Yet I want to run away, I might just crack under the pressure.

It is difficult to live day to day, if you think too much. For most people I'm sure living in the moment is simple, perhaps enjoyable, and maybe it is just what we (as humans) are suppose to do. However, for crazy people, like me, who unconsciously analyze every minuscule detail of their life, being told to take one day at a time is torture. The future haunts me almost as much as the past (and since I live my life in history text books the past haunts me a lot). I hate uncertainty, and I am desperate for a concrete plan. I have no long-term plan, and it destroys me.

I'm young, fairly attractive, educated, have my whole life/career ahead of me, etc., etc., but I still manage to find something to complain about everyday. It's a hard knock life.